How to kill a witchJust add waterand slowly stir,or drop a houseon top of her.A stake and a matchwill do just as well;there are myriad waysto send her to Hell.Chop off her head.Try a drowning.Or just give her a hugand forget the whole thing.
Auto Math4 collapsed hydraulic motor mounts Plus3 car doors that will not open from the inside Plus2 run-flat tires punctured by screws Plus1 hairline crack in a manifold EqualsI’m buying a bicycle
EasterPoor Ella.Trapped in a one-sided conversationwith her new husband’s sister.“You work? That’s stupid.With welfare and food stamps,I watch T.V. all day.”And there goes Uncle Jake -Watch him drag the back of his hand across her assas he squeezes past heron his way outside to smoke weed.“Sorry, Sugar. It’s a little tight in here.”Little Jeffrey stabs her hard in the backwith a plastic sword.Her new father-in-lawscreams at his young second wifewhen he learns she made macaroni saladinstead of potato.Poor Ella.Her hubbie won’t save her.He’s hiding in the den,watching the ball gamewith the dogs.But she’ll learn.A few more holidaysand she’ll realizethat the safest placeis in the cornerwith those of us who married intodysfunction,those of us who ignored adviceto meet the whole familybefore saying“I do.”
The last riddle I ever tellKnock, Knock. Who's there?Death Bummer
I am your coinI am your coinand soyou will suffer me in silencenow gocook somethingI'm hungry